Sleepless

Tired.

Eyes burning as though open in chlorine.

A dull ache fills my entire head.

Sleep, I so desperately need.

Sleep, it will not come.

Night after night.

Nausea, dry mouth.

Shoulders unable to stay up.

Bodily fatigue.

I feel as though I have walked for days without pause.

My legs like lead.

A constant pain in my back.

Hips filled with an ache that echos of birth.

So very tired.

Lay my head down.

I just want to sleep.

Why can I not sleep?

Shift, turn, roll.

Covers on, off, here, there.

Another morning comes.

Bird song, sun beam.

Sleep did not arrive.

Movement through water.

A fog in my head.

Instinct takes me through the motions.

Like a new mother, surviving minute by minute.

The day wears on.

The cycle repeats.

Feel my body slow.

Heavy and worn.

Weighted by the nights without.

Like a lost lover, it consumes my thoughts.

It feels my body with want.

I would surrender that I could.

Allow my body to be without thought.

But the mind will not rest.

Always awake, contemplative.

Focusing on that which I cannot achieve.

Sleep.

Overwhelming exhaustion.

Eventually it will take me.

I let it, yes.

Feel it wash over me.

Drowsy.

Seep into my bones.

Heavy.

Fill me with a calming warmth.

Peaceful.

Turn off the constant workings of my head.

The bliss of oblivion...