Not a New Year's Resolution

Many of you know, I don't do New Year's resolutions. This year was no different. I did not make one. On the other hand, there is something that has been tugging at my heart for a while. I have been trying to ignore it so that it didn't coincide with New Year's and I think we are far enough past it. I love to read. Anything, everything, but I have been terrible about it including my bible reading (I know, I know, God is dealing with me), and I am determined to change that. I have also been re-evaluating my schedule to find what I can cut out in order to carve more time for this indulgence. HA! I realized there is not much in my schedule that is mine. I am certainly not going to ask the baby to go away or the older kids to give up their sports so that I can read a book. And I can't tell my professor, "sorry I didn't do this week's work, I really needed some me time to read". Yet, I know these are just excuses for why I have not been in His word. I know that finding time to be in God's word is priority and I have been really good with my excuses for why I don't have time for that. Really, if I'm honest, it's why I haven't been reading anything. I have been avoiding what God is wanting to say to me while trying to ignore how guilty I feel. I can't concentrate on the words because I know HE is waiting for me to stop being a wayward child. Sigh. So I come humbly before Him, no more excuses. I am listening. Want to know what I found out? Two things that I have been praying about in our family haven't happened because I have been trying to make one happen yet been just in the way on both. For some time, I have been praying and trying to establish a family devotional time. I, me. Instead of praying and letting God take the reigns, I have been trying to force it, and failed miserably. And no wonder when I am terrible about daily reading! The other thing is turning off our tv. I loved our time in Europe when we didn't have tv and, ever since we came back to the US, we have had 800 channels of nothing. I had given up on convincing Ben to cancel it and, really, I am just as guilty of letting our schedule revolve around the new season of whatever or ignoring the fact that the kids get up early on Saturday to watch whatever cartoon they find that they know I don't approve of. I just conceeded defeat. Then one day, my amazing husband, announced that we were turning it off AND establishing daily bible reading and devo's. All this time, God had been working on his heart too. WOW. So, off the tv went and, suddenly, I have more time in my schedule, our family has conversations that are longer than commercial breaks, and the kids are ahead a few days in their personal bible readings. Not to mention the $100 we are no longer giving the cable company. I thought I would keep up with maybe one or two shows online but I haven't yet and I couldn't tell you what we were watching anymore. AND, I managed to finish a book, start a personal study, and managed to do homeowrk not at the last minute. God is good.